2,400 Sundays

I waited until I was 38 to move to New York. I remember my first visit. I was around 20 years old. I came here with my best friend and her parents. Her dad managed a cruise ship and we stayed on the ship, using it as our hotel. We walked Times Square and ate at Carmine’s (it’s still there). We had the most amazing week. Well, other than the night when I accidentally ate butter pecan ice cream and broke out into my first case of hives, my nut allergy reminding me who’s really boss. 

I was talking to two separate friends in the past week. For context, they were both young men under 25 years old. Both said the same thing to me: “I can’t wait to move to New York one day, when I’m ready.” My response to both of them was the same. “You’ll never be ready. If it’s what you really want, then do it and figure it out along the way. What’s the worst thing that could happen?” 

Okay, file that. We’ll get back to it. 

I talk a lot on this blog about actioning your life. I talk about the lies your ego and limiting beliefs tell you. I talk about choosing unhappiness over uncertainty (don’t do it). I talk about the precious days, weeks and months of your life. If you’re reading this today and you’re 30 years old, you have around 2,400 Sundays left on average. As Buddha said, “the problem is, you think you have time.” 

We hear it all the time: “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” That’s not an arbitrary question. With a few exceptions, the vast majority of the things you want in your life, the things that you realllllly want to do, try, start, experience and the risks you want to take will end up either being 1) the best thing you ever did or 2) totally fine. Rarely, if ever, does a decision end up being an irreversible, complete and total failure. Most things in life are reversible, stoppable and fixable. And more often than not, THEY’RE COMPLETE AND UTTER SUCCESSES. I really wanted to you to hear that part. Say it out loud: “the things I really want in life will end up being complete and utter successes.” I know this for certain for a few reasons:

1)    You’re reading this blog. The fact that you read blogs like this tells me that you’re the kind of person who lives life with intention, you’re self-aware, you surround yourself with community, inspiration and encouragement. You have a spirit of excellency. 

2)    The gift of time and experience. I’ve watched countless friends take bold risks and they’ve all been the best things they ever did. No disasters. No worst-case scenarios. 

3)    I’ve had more conversations than I’d like to admit with friends who’ve said they regretted not doing things because they were worried that they’d fail. In retrospect, they realized they would have been just fine. The rear-view mirror is the clearest of them all. 

Let’s take this to the next level together. I don’t want you to read this blog post, feel a little jolt of inspo and move on with your day. I want you to take action. If you read blogs like this, you make things happen. You’re a making things happen kind of person. You’re not in this alone. Let’s do this together. Start with a notebook. 

1)    On the first page(s), make a list of things you really want to do in your life. These are things that you’ve thought about repeatedly, but then pushed aside because you didn’t think you were ready. You didn’t have enough experience, connections, resources, time, money, support... You weren’t skinny enough, educated enough, old enough, young enough… We’re really good at coming up with a list of “not enough’s.” Your list might have 2 things on it or 200. There’s no limit, just write. 

2)    Sit back and really look at that list. Give everything on the list a number. 1, 2 or 3. The 1’s are the biggies. These are the biggest, the boldest and the most heart-racing dreams on your list. These are the things you imagine looking back on your life one day and regretting not doing. Those things. Before I moved to New York, I regularly imagined myself at the end of my life looking back and regretting not moving here. That’s when I knew for sure I had to do it. The 2’s are big but not the kind of things you’ll think about on your death bed. The 3’s can be done by next month, you just need to do them. 

3)    Okay, you’ve made your list. Now flip to a clean notebook page and draw a line across the page, about an inch or two from the bottom and then draw another line straight down the middle until you hit the bottom line. On the left-hand side, write down one of your #1 goals. On the right-hand side, list every reason you don’t think you’re ready and your “not enough’s.” Leave space between each reason. Be incredibly honest. No one will ever see this other than you. 

4)    Now in the space under each reason, write: “but I could…” and/or “is this really, really true?”

5)    Go back through your list of reasons you’re not ready or don’t have enough and fill in the “but I could’s” and “is this really, really true’s?” for each. So for instance, if one of your reasons that you’re not ready is that you don’t know anyone else who has done it, then you might write “but I could post on social media that I want to do this thing and ask my community for connections to others who have done it” or one of your reasons might be “I’m too old to do it,” and under that you might write: “this isn’t true, there is no age limit to this; this is a limiting belief I tell myself.” The purpose of this exercise is to debunk your excuses because most of them can be overcome pretty easily or they’re just plain lies we tell ourselves. 

6)    At the bottom in that blank section, write “WCS:” This is where you list your absolute worst case scenario. Then list the percentage chance of that actually happening. And if it happens, then list what can you do to fix it, make a u-turn or sort it out. You’re not a victim. You’re actually really, really good at managing your life and creating solutions when you need them. But first, let’s get rid of the barriers. Here’s an example layout you can follow:

Repeat this for every #1 goal. Then move onto the #2’s then the #3’s. Don’t rush it. Take your time and really put thought into it. 

You can use this for anything. Big dreams and tiny goals. No rules. What might happen is that you go through this worksheet exercise and you come to realize that your dreams are totally achievable, but that you’re not in a place to prioritize them and make them happen right now and THAT’S SO INCREDIBLY OKAY. The goal of this is ultimately to action your dreams and avoid living with the “wish I had” regrets, but even more it’s to debunk the mental barriers and stories that we tell ourselves that stop us from moving towards and achieving our dreams in the first place. I would LOVE to hear you say, “I really want XX and I know I could totally do it, but right now it’s not a top priority. However, when I am ready, game on,” rather than, “I really want XX, but I just don’t have enough X, X and X to do it.” 

I just might believe in you more than you believe in yourself. No one is destined to achieve their dreams any more than you are. You have the same hours in the day and access to information (YouTube, Google) as anyone else. We all breathe the same air, look up at the same stars at night and live on the same planet. The people who achieve their dreams are simply the ones who decided to go for it. 

Back to our original question: what’s the worst thing that can happen? It’s not being broke, failing publicly, proving your doubters right or letting down your parents. It’s having a heart filled with dreams that you tell yourself are not meant for you. It’s having a vision for a life you want to be living, but you continue to live another because that vision feels unreachable or not intended for you. It’s living in a place of limiting beliefs, fear and regret. That’s the worst thing that can happen. 

But that won’t happen to you. Because you, my love, make things happen.